Why does God let so many bad things happen to me?

It’s very possible that you’re asking this question because of the reality of pain and suffering in your own life. As you’ll see in these videos, Christians also face adversity, and grapple with what these experiences tell us about God. The personal perspectives shared by Patricia, Gill and Sue offer profound insights into this complex issue and offer a range of experiences and beliefs that will hopefully help you to reflect on your own seasons of struggle and sorrow.

Gill shares a particularly poignant story that serves as the foundation for her own understanding of suffering. A few years ago, she lost her daughter to cancer, a devastating experience that encompassed a year of relentless struggle, marked by medical treatments, hospice care, and ultimately, a funeral. This harrowing journey has led Gill to frequently ask why such tragedy befalls people, especially those who are faithful to God. In her reflection on the nature of prayer she recognizes that it isn’t a transactional interaction in which a divine being rewards supplication with the guarantee of a favourable answer. Instead, she has realised, prayer is a dialogue with God that has been a source of love and comfort in those darkest of times.

Her rational nature longed for some tangible explanation or purpose for her suffering, perhaps a clear connection between her daughter’s death and a greater good, such as a cure for cancer. Yet, she acknowledges that such answers are elusive and might not be available in this lifetime. Gill points out that acceptance is essential – and for her this involves embracing the uncertainty and mystery of God’s plans whilst holding onto the hope that understanding might come in the afterlife.

Patricia focuses less on finding meaning in her individual difficulties, and more on the purpose of suffering in general. She challenges the notion that God might allow bad things to happen to people to test their faith or punish them in some way. Instead, she draws insight from the fact that suffering is a universal and intrinsic human experience shared by us all, Christian and atheist alike. Her belief is that our own struggles can enable us to connect with others, fostering a sense of our shared humanity.

This is certainly Patricia’s experience; having faced financial difficulties, personal loss and health issues, she has experienced a deeper empathy for others facing similar struggles. Drawing from the biblical example of Saint Paul – who experienced imprisonment, floggings and betrayal – it is clear to her that even the most devout individuals are not spared from suffering. The difference for the Christian, Patricia believes, is that God’s presence and His support are often revealed through these trials, helping us to find strength and growth in the face of adversity.

Sue expands on this, shifting the question from ‘why does God let bad things happen’ to ‘where is God’ when they do?’ The perspective is based on her rejection of the characterisation of God as a punitive deity who delights in human suffering, arguing that this view is inconsistent with the character of a loving creator who desires a relationship with humanity. Instead, she suggests, rather than blaming God for our suffering, being aware of His presence in those times can lead to a more meaningful engagement with faith.

As a caregiver for her husband, who suffers from motor neurone disease, Sue describes her approach to suffering by explaining that she chooses to focus on the blessings and opportunities that arise from their situation. She speaks of the profound relationships and short, intense friendships formed through shared adversity, emphasizing how these experiences have given her deeper human connections and a sense of a divine presence. Sue invites those who are struggling to engage with scripture, particularly the Psalms, as a way to process their emotions and find solace and hope in God’s word.

Within a framework of societal notions such as success and failure, it’s easy for life’s challenges to somehow be seen as personal or divine failures, rather than part of the broader human experience. Thinking that hard work or talent or faith will guarantee a smooth life is, like blaming God, a convenient but misguided response to adversity. Instead, if we are to navigate life’s inevitable challenges, our contributors suggest building a personal relationship with a God who, in the humanity of Jesus, knows what it is to suffer.